NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such. In yet another awkward moment and large backstep for the Biden Administration as it desperately attempts to convince Americans that Biden isn’t senile before he tries running for President again in 2024, President Slow Joe Biden was widely mocked online after wearing a Christmas sweater to a New Years’ Eve party and being photographed in it before Dr. Jill forced him to put on something else instead. The party, held at the White House, departed from being the normal black tie type of events normally…
Author: will
NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such. Things got awkward in Lori Lightfoot’s Chicago yesterday when police officers in the Chicago Police Department appeared in a press conference to discuss their “dramatic” success in fighting crime in Chicago by cracking down on “hate speech” among the city’s residents. Speaking on that, one of them, an officer named Damore Washington, said: “Look, there’s a lot of hate, particularly hate speech, in Chicago right now. We saw how awful it was when Jussie Smollett was attacked by those MAGA hat clad racists. We know…
NOTE: The following is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such. Finally falling back off the wagon and smoking the crack he needs to keep himself energetic and focused, Hunter Biden, son of the current president, Slow Joe Biden, has his sites set on making 2023 his year and far better for him than 2022. How so? Well, he has decided to just stop paying child support payments in the hope that the problem will just go away, a strategy tried with little success by other men in his position. But, beyond that, he has a much…
NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such. For those that don’t already know, Senate Minority Leader and current Establishment GOP figurehead Mitch McConnell is, through his wife and her shipping company, deeply involved with the Red Chinese. Like deeply, deeply involved. As Peter Schweizer exposed in his book, Red-Handed: How American Elites Get Rich Helping China Win: “While Senator Feinstein has been remarkably pro-Beijing in her public statements about China, Senator McConnell has been more balanced. But let there be no doubt: the senator from Kentucky and his wife enjoy some of the…
NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such. Taking action to try and expand Twitter’s offerings to keep it growing and popular, Twitter’s brilliant new owner and CEO, Elon Musk, decided to create “Twitter duels”, a space in which those who routinely fight with other accounts on Twitter can duel with their constant enemies in real life to show who’s boss. Elon, announcing the new program, said “Well, so we realized that there is a desire, on Twitter, for in person confrontation. Like between the doxxing and posting about where people are, their…
NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such. Take a look around right now. What do you see? A normal, if cold day out? Maybe, if it’s not a nice day, a bit of snow, a cold wind rustling the leaves, or some ominous clouds? Or, if it is a nice day, a bright, shining sun and a tiffany-blue sky stretching across the horizon? Yes? Well, that’s because the world hasn’t ended yet, something that has shocked Twitter employees, who thought that the world would end if the censorship effort of the Twitter…
NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such. Elon recently brutalized Biden and his family on Twitter, using every trick in the Twitter troll’s book to mock the whole Biden Crime Family and try to use his 100 million or so Twitter followers to make those corrupt fools very uncomfortable. It began when Biden tried mocking the Trump family on Twitter after Trump’s tax returns were released, saying that “Hunter had always paid his fair share in taxes, unlike tax-dodging Trump and his idiot kids.” That didn’t work out great for Biden, as…
NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such. The FBI, when it was founded, settled on the motto “Fidelity, Bravery, Integrity”. Perhaps that was at one point true: the FBI did used to do lots of good work tracking down and arresting communists, anarchists, and other enemies of civilized society. But that was then. In the “now”, the FBI is neither loyal, brave, or honest, so the motto doesn’t really fit. Instead it’s full of backstabbing cowards loyal only to making a quick buck off appearing as defenders of “our democracy.” Generally, that…
NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such. Ready for Congress to spend your money before it has even be collected for the year? Well, get ready. Not only is that going to be happening, but are also going to be spending it not even on America, but instead on the Ukraine. Apparently what amounts to a large grain field with a few bombed out factories really needs to be in the control of one group of corrupt oligarchs instead of another and spending trillions while risking World War III is reasonable given…
NOTE: The Following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such. Do you think that “conservative victory” should mean that conservatives actually, well, win? That would be reasonable to most people, but, unfortunately, it’s not what the GOP’s Senate leadership thinks. To them, namely RINO leader Mitch McConnell, “victory” means getting invited to this season’s hottest cocktail parties on the Beltway socialite circuit. Getting invited to those as a Republican is difficult, given that pretty much everyone in DC is a flaming liberal that thinks everything from state paid for gender transition surgery for minors to…
NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such. Things in the Biden White House took an awkward turn yet again when, during an argument about crack cocaine and child support payments, Hunter Biden yelled “Santa is not real, you senile fool” to his dad, President Joe Biden. Why was that a big deal? Because it turns out that President Joe Biden isn’t just the oldest American president ever, but he’s also the oldest Santa believer. Apparently, no one ever told Joe that Santa isn’t real and, because he was always busy during his…
NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such. Hunter Biden received crushing news in a letter from Santa this week, finding out that he might not get the 20 kilos of crack cocaine that he asked for for Christmas this year because he has been a “very naughty boy” that “didn’t pay his child support bills”, “sold influence to China”, and “got involved in numerous sickening schemes with prostitutes.” Well, Hunter framed the note as a letter from Santa, as that was easier for his drug-addled mind to handle. Really it was a…
NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such. Just after getting back to America thanks to Biden releasing a Russian arms dealer who is already helping out the Russian Federation’s war effort in the Ukraine, Brittney Griner is already under arrest again, this time in America but for much the same charge: smoking weed in public. According to her attorney (Griner is locked up and unable to speak to media at the moment), Brittney was enjoying being back in America and walking around downtown Atlanta with some family members, smoking a joint and…
NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such Following the most recent attempt on Elon’s life and recurrent attempts to track and kill him thanks to his resistance to the regime, Elon has stood up a private security company that will keep him safe and provide protection services to any who criticize the ruling regime and put their lives at risk by doing so. Elon apparently recognized the importance of standing up such a company after the recent attempt on his life, about which he tweeted, saying: Any account doxxing real-time location info…
NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such. Based on his experience in dealing with President Slow Joe Biden in recent weeks as Biden and the incompetents on his State Department advisory team as they panicked and did everything possible to get weed-smoking NBA player Brittney Griner released from a Russian prison, where she was locked up for smuggling drugs into the Russian Federation, Putin decided to try playing his cards well again to get a KGB agent released. Speaking on that during a recent military parade in Moscow, Putin said “My dear…
NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such. Brandon decided to use the Democrat’s retained majority in the Senate to make January 6th a “national day of mourning”. Wearing a veil and standing in front of a flag at half mast when making the announcement about the day, Biden said: “Now listen up, folks. This is important. Super important. January 6th was one of the worst days in the history of the Republic, if not the worst. Sure, Pearl Harbor was bad. We shoulda taught them Japs a lesson before then, but we…
NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such. Things continue to look worse and worse, or at least more and more awkward, for Team Biden. Not only has the Griner release been more of an anti-Biden than pro-Biden talking point as of late, but then the cross-dressing puppy fetishist he put in charge of nuclear waste disposal decided to start stealing luggage…and got caught. On camera. In multiple cities. And is being charged. So not a great look for a regime already struggling to manage the dual burden of record high inflation and…
NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such. WNBA “Star” (can one really be a star if single digits of people show up to watch the championship?) Brittney Griner was just released from Russian prison after Biden made heroic exertions to free a woman who committed a crime in Russia that we still theoretically lock people up for in the United States, releasing an arms dealer from American prison so that we could get back a black lesbian that was known before her arrest for protesting the American flag and national anthem. Quite…
NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such. Bari Weiss just dropped the second installment in the Twitter files, following up on Matt Taibbi’s excellent reporting to show that not only was Twitter booting conservatives off the platform at the insistence of the Biden regime and other powers that be, but was also shadowbanning conservative accounts on its own initiative. As she tweeted: 1. A new #TwitterFiles investigation reveals that teams of Twitter employees build blacklists, prevent disfavored tweets from trending, and actively limit the visibility of entire accounts or even trending topics—all…
NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such. Taking action to try and remove themselves from the spotlight that Elon is shining on them now that he’s bought Twitter and started prying into each and every thing that was going on under the tyrannical rule of his predecessors (Jack Dorsey and Parag Agrawal), the FBI has been doing its best to cover its Twitter censorship tracks. Specifically, the agency had its few remaining sleepers within the company “activate” to start breaking things, implanting vicious malware that wreaked havoc on the Twitter servers and…